Cob-a-Coaling

When I was a child my band of friends used to engage in a practice called 'Cob-a-Coaling.' This was during the lead-up to Bonfire Night, which was one of the biggest events of our calendar. Cob-a-Coaling involved packs of kids going round the area knocking on door after door, singing a song, begging for wood to burn, money for fireworks and coal - though coal was a bit old hat by my generation.

As with all folk songs, the version we sung was a fusion of older versions that our various parents had sung before us and our own understandings and misunderstandings. Sometimes old-timers would answer their doors, listen to the whole song and then offer their corrections, it was slow progress to say the least. Other times people would stop you right away and throw a few coins at you to get rid.

When they built a new housing development nearby we added it to our route but very few people would give anything to you, more often they would pretend not to be in; we saw the coming of the commuter homes, housing commuters who thought our local ways to be most unusual. I remember this leading to us holding such streets in contempt, occasionally leading to high-speed BMX rampages in which we'd cycle up and down people's drives out of disrespect. Another time it led to 'North Nook' being used as a target for a mud-slingshot we developed on top of the quarry above. The siege lasted for days before we had to out-run a chubby policeman. I digress.

The song my crew of friends would sing went like this:

We come a cob-a-coaling
For bonfire night
Your coal or your money
We hope you provide
Follow dee, follow die,
Follow diddle I dough dee
And down in the cellar
There's an old umbrella
And up in the kitchen
There's an old pepper pot
Pepper pot, Pepper pot
Morning til night
If you give us nowt
We'll steal nowt
God Bless and Good Night

Guy Guy Guy
Poke him in the eye
Tie him to a lamppost
And never let him die

Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat
So please put a penny
In the old man's hat

If you haven't got a penny
A ha'penny will do
If you haven't got an ha'penny
God Bless you!

Figaro, Figaro
Morning til night
If you give us nowt
We'll steal nowt
God Bless and Good Night.

The versions we heard from older generations used to have more antiquated references, but I struggle to remember them now. A 'Ha'penny' ['hape-knee'], for those a few years younger than me, was an antiquated version of the now antiquated half-penny. We really liked half-pennies because it was the price of a sweet at the corner shop. The corner shop closed down not long after half-pennies were scrapped, I suspect it must've been kept afloat by our sweet money, the perfect child's currency. I wonder if there's anything now that schools kids in the value of money as well as half-pennies did? I digress. And isn't that the way with such stories?

As far as I know, we were the very last generation to carry out Cob-a-Coaling. We had rival gangs at the time, but as we retired and became grouchy 15 year olds it was notable that the kids below us didn't continue the line. Instead 'Trick or Treating' came in from Hollywood and took off. It involved kids going door to door saying "trick or treat," we always held this lack of effort in contempt.

Another note on that; back then kids would wear masks and costumes to Trick or Treat, a few years ago I opened the door and there were six teenagers standing on the doorstep in their everyday street clothes. Their leader said expectantly 'trick or treat,' not even inflicting the words as he did it. They were going round begging like we did; but the absence of imagination, song and cultural weight just made it seem vulgar and unpleasant. They had, however, learned the lessons of their own culture and stuck their most handsome member at the front. They probably earned more than we did back in the day. I digress into cynicism now, and perhaps romanticism about the days when ugly children like me sang confusing folk songs on doorsteps.

This post is a reflection, I know not if there is any conclusion to draw from it. Perhaps other than, 'Oh well. Times change.'

Oh well. Times change.